I've been stuck. Completely stuck on this concept of time. A few of you have heard me try to make sense of all of this a time or two before, but I really can't shake it. As I approach 30 I'm completely in awe as to how quickly time has passed. Now, not to take away from you poor mothers whose kids are actually out of the house and in college already without you (!!!!), but how in the world is Caleb 5?!? If I do my math right (and it was my strong suit in school!) he was born 4 days ago. Three weeks ago I was 12 and my best friend "broke up" with me. About a week and a half ago Matt came to move me out of my college apartment. And, if time continues to move at the same speed it has been, this means that in about 5 weeks I'm going to be 60!! I've always been one to be sentimental. I've known all along that my kids grow up and out of infancy way too fast. Those early days feel like forever but the weeks fly by. I hold onto their clothes as if maybe, magically, one day their newborn or toddler selves will show up at the door just waiting to be put back into those adorable outfits that I've been saving for them. And books? Oh goodness. I'm afraid we will have bookshelves in our "adult house" one day stocked full with Thomas the Tank Engine and Curious George, Pinkalicious and Guess How Much I Love You. Because, if there's a memory in my head of me reading the book to any of my kids, there's no way it'll ever get thrown away.
All too often I find myself getting caught up in the struggles of life with four pre-schoolers: the phases they seem to go through at least in pairs, the inability for anyone to tie their own shoe, the incessant noises being made and directed at me though not one of them is actually saying a single actual word...
Anyone who knows me hopefully knows that I wouldn't trade it for the world - including a clean house! - and that's what I'm focusing on trying to remember on a daily basis. I know we've all heard it as young moms: "You can clean your house later", "The dishes can wait", "The laundry will still be there tomorrow". I believe in all of this. I never set out to be the mom who had a spotless house at the sake of my children, however I did get lost in the "in between". I struggle daily with finding the balance between simply maintaining my house and spending time with my kids. Any and all who have stepped inside my home know I'm not one to value squeaky clean windows and floors (although I did treat myself to hiring someone to powerwash my windows - awesome!). But I do know that we need clean laundry and too many dirty dishes is kinda gross.
But, as this strange time warp has showed me, it's often not until looking back that I realize how quickly time has passed. So I'm trying to remind myself daily that, if I'm not careful, that game I promised Addison I'd play with her "tomorrow" will still be sitting there, unplayed, 6 months from now in just the simplest blink of an eye.
So, in these next thirty years, before it disappears on me again, I'm choosing to be a "yes" mom. Goodness knows, no matter how hard I try, the laundry is still there, there are always new dishes to be done, and someone's bed is always getting un-made. So what's the harm in just letting them go? As a "yes" mom I can at least feel good about what I have gotten done: one more smile on someone's face. An extra minute to hold someone's hand as we run through the backyard from whoever is "it" at that moment. And the extra shot my kids have at enjoying each other when they see Mom enjoying their sibling.
Saturday, April 10, 2010
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Cleaning House
I've realized today that "at least I have a clean house".
Let me back up. The household wars have been coming to a head over here as I have been feeling the urge (need, necessity) to purge. This house gets smaller everyday and, though I do acknowledge not worrying about the size of my house is on my list of "things that won't matter ten years from now", let's face it: there's a lot of us here.
So I'm taking advantage of an upcoming Mom's Sale at church to clear out a corner in Matt's makeshift laundry room/storage room/gym for him to lunge to his heart's content. I'm feeling good about sifting and sorting. Now, mind you, I'm not about to go crazy and actually get rid of my children's actual clothes that make my memories of their iddy biddy days complete. No, no my friends. Those fifteen totes are tucked away ever so neatly for my more nostalgic days.
Now I'm simply giving myself permission to part with the clothes that have cycled through time and again and yet, somehow, have never gotten worn.
So ... as I'm doing that I've also decided to tackle the kids' rooms. If the clothes are being weeded through, so can the toys that have started taking up residence. Now, to go along with the theme of the Kitchen Sink Lady, what better way to attempt to keep a clean room clean than to REALLY clean it?? So, I shampoo the kids' carpets. Out with the old milk stains in the carpet, in with the ... well, the slightly faded old milk stains in the carpet. But it's doing its trick. The kids' rooms have remained clean for over 72 hours now and I'm feeling good.
As of today, four days after my start, I have two (and a half) clean bedrooms (ours is in progress...) and an extra corner in the basement. .....
And six people's dirty laundry that has been neglected and is overflowing every hamper in this home.
How does this always seem to happen? I know there are moms out there that don't mark it as a record breaking week on their calendar when bedrooms remain clean for more than 4 hours at a time and who can manage to keep their house tidy, clothes in appropriate drawers, sharpie markers out of the hands of two year olds and keep their hampers within a lid closing limit ... but I sure can't. At least not at the same time.
So today, as I grasp at straws at just what I am accomplishing through all of this work I realize, at least I have a clean house. I definitely don't have a tidy house. Like, ever. But the joy of living in this shoe box is that it doesn't take long to scrub. So, next time you're over (specifically if it's in the next week), kick that shoe into the corner, brush that book off of the couch and relax knowing that your child can eat that fruit snack he found on the girls' bedroom floor because at least the rugs have been shampooed.
Let me back up. The household wars have been coming to a head over here as I have been feeling the urge (need, necessity) to purge. This house gets smaller everyday and, though I do acknowledge not worrying about the size of my house is on my list of "things that won't matter ten years from now", let's face it: there's a lot of us here.
So I'm taking advantage of an upcoming Mom's Sale at church to clear out a corner in Matt's makeshift laundry room/storage room/gym for him to lunge to his heart's content. I'm feeling good about sifting and sorting. Now, mind you, I'm not about to go crazy and actually get rid of my children's actual clothes that make my memories of their iddy biddy days complete. No, no my friends. Those fifteen totes are tucked away ever so neatly for my more nostalgic days.
Now I'm simply giving myself permission to part with the clothes that have cycled through time and again and yet, somehow, have never gotten worn.
So ... as I'm doing that I've also decided to tackle the kids' rooms. If the clothes are being weeded through, so can the toys that have started taking up residence. Now, to go along with the theme of the Kitchen Sink Lady, what better way to attempt to keep a clean room clean than to REALLY clean it?? So, I shampoo the kids' carpets. Out with the old milk stains in the carpet, in with the ... well, the slightly faded old milk stains in the carpet. But it's doing its trick. The kids' rooms have remained clean for over 72 hours now and I'm feeling good.
As of today, four days after my start, I have two (and a half) clean bedrooms (ours is in progress...) and an extra corner in the basement. .....
And six people's dirty laundry that has been neglected and is overflowing every hamper in this home.
How does this always seem to happen? I know there are moms out there that don't mark it as a record breaking week on their calendar when bedrooms remain clean for more than 4 hours at a time and who can manage to keep their house tidy, clothes in appropriate drawers, sharpie markers out of the hands of two year olds and keep their hampers within a lid closing limit ... but I sure can't. At least not at the same time.
So today, as I grasp at straws at just what I am accomplishing through all of this work I realize, at least I have a clean house. I definitely don't have a tidy house. Like, ever. But the joy of living in this shoe box is that it doesn't take long to scrub. So, next time you're over (specifically if it's in the next week), kick that shoe into the corner, brush that book off of the couch and relax knowing that your child can eat that fruit snack he found on the girls' bedroom floor because at least the rugs have been shampooed.
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