Close the door

I don't know why they don't hear me. I have to sound like a lunatic. Today was one of those days when I had no choice but to bring all four kids with me to the mall ... not to play, not to eat, but to follow me around as I mumbled insults to myself under my breath as I dress shopped.

My frustration was already at its peak after wasting an hour bribing my kids to behave at the pediatrician only to find out my terribly "off" infant is perfectly healthy.

So we arrive at the mall, "incentives" in tow, and of course have to head straight to the bathroom. All 3 "big" kids run into one of the two family stalls as I lay Jadyn down to change her diaper. I can see said room and look over to find all three of my kids standing in the stall, pants dropped, casually talking to one another about their new Happy Meal toys (see, incentive).

"Addie, close the door honey." They all turn, genitals exposed, staring blankly. "Addie, Caleb, one of you needs to close the door." I hear voices approaching the Family Bathroom door. "Caleb! Turn around and close the door!" "Mom, I got stinky bottom!" Avery shouts.

Door cracks. "Close the door." ... "Close. the. door!" ... "Closethedoor, closethedoor, closetheDOOR!!!"

Addie blinks. "Oh, okay." and closes the door. I turn to catch the expression on the newly entered mom's face. She raises an eyebrow at me as if she's silently scolding me for raising my voice at my children. I stifle the urge to assure that I was kind and patient the first six times. After entering our "stall" to help wash hands we all trudge out to the main lobby that exits to the mall. Caleb, walking in front of me, stops short just as we're approaching the door. "Caleb, honey, can you please open the door?" He turns and stairs at the stroller wheel. "Caleb, please open the door. Open. The door."
And here we go again.