Though I don't think Matt has started with any "Corny Dad Jokes" the day officially came last week where I became a MOM. You know, the one with all the sayings that we rolled our eyes at as kids and no one knows where they came from.
Somehow I managed to hit them all in the same week. Each time I knew it was coming and fought so hard to find my way around each of them, but, in the end, the words were tried and true:
"No, we don't use our hands for hitting" "Son, we're headed to your activity but we do not have to go if you can't be nice" ... "I mean it, I'll turn this car around!"
"You know what, honey? (I thought if I started sweeter I could avoid the rest, but it came anyway) If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all." Doesn't matter how nicely you try to say it. Even in your best "teaching voice" it comes out the same.
And my favorite (though, again, I really tried to get around it). It started with: (Use your imagination for which child), "I know that didn't really hurt you that badly." "No, you need to settle down." "We don't scream like that because pizza crust fell on your leg." "Seriously, you're going to tell me that caused you this severe amount of pain?" (see it escalating?? trying. to. fight. back.) ... "This is not worth crying about!" (Uh oh. Here it comes:) "I'll give you something to cry about." And I didn’t even mean that as a threat of bodily harm like the phrase implied when we were little. I really just meant that she didn’t have to have any pizza if it was causing her this much physical pain. And THAT would be something worth crying about.
I can only imagine what’s going to come next.
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